A Change is Gonna Come.

It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know, a change gon' come
Oh yes it will

-Sam Cooke

Great words...none truer ever need to be spoken. I celebrated a birthday last week (22...eek), and I was pretty depressed in the days leading up to and after it. Instead of feeling more mature, wiser, grown-up, I just feel....old.

I guess what I'm (reluctantly) coming to realize, is that change is inevitable. Not a novel idea, but we have to all come to it on our own. I've always been reluctant to change. I doubt I'll ever completely accept it. It still occurs, so regardless of whether or not I accept it, it happens.

I think my lack of acceptance of change stems from fear. Well, not so much I think as I know. Fear of what is to come. Fear of what a change will do to my life. Change can be great, growth opens you up to things that you've never experienced before, and those things can be great presences in your life. I'm fortunate to have experienced things like that before, and I am definitely glad to have had the opportunity to do so.

What I hate about change is vulnerability...Geez, it's even an obnoxious word. In order to accept and succumb to change, you have to make yourself available to it, and there is that ugly little V word. Such a loathsome feeling. Putting yourself out there, making yourself open...it sucks if it doesn't go right. It so often leads to hurt, and ends in heartache/break and resentment. And resentment leads to cynicism...and who wants to live life as a cynic?

Change can be good; but can there be too much of a good thing?

Did you hear about the Rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?...
I am the Rose.