results and repurcussions...after the dust has settled.

So like most people, I've been trying to navigate my 20s as smoothly as possible. (And yes, I'm aware that i don't have too many years of 20s yet.) Maybe take a couple of chances here and there, but for the most part, have fun and really come into myself and who I'm destined to be in the future. But looking back on the past year and some change, stepping outside my comfort zone has done some good and some bad.

Now don't get me wrong, some of the decisions that I've made in the recent past have been great. I've never regretted them, regardless of problems that may present themselves because of them. However, in the past year and some change, my actions have deviated from my norm. I've acted out of character, and after reflecting back on the recent past, I've come to the conclusion...What the hell was I thinking?

I didn't have a 'typical' college experience at first. Didn't know a lot of people, didn't really do much. It wasn't really until my junior year that I really got to know people and party and all the fun stuff that people talk about. And even then, my schedule was kinda tight, and not really party-conducive. But I have to say that the end of my junior year was what opened up a whole new world for me. I started meeting more people, and just actually having fun. The school year started up again, but still, I was on my mission. When graduation loomed around the corner, I panicked, dreading the grown-up life that existed outside the campus boundaries. I figured, f**k it, I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want to. And I continued to follow this ideal through much of the summer.

Eventually, I realized I had to be responsible for my actions. And after doing so, I also realized that I needed to change my behavior. Sidebar: its not as scandalous as my omissions make it seem. It didn't make sense to continue to act out against my normal behavior just for the sake of fulfilling some ridiculous expectation. The potential fallout can be too great if you force yourself into a role that you are not truly meant to fill.

I'm SOOOOO glad that I have come to this conclusion on my own accord, and not because of extraneous circumstances. It may seem like a ridiculous concept, especially for a grown woman, but I'm finally doing shit because I actually want to and not because I feel like I have to. I'm breaking free from the shackles! LOL. But really, this was a great wake-up call. Now I'm back on track to what's truly important, and I'm getting rid of the unnecessary drama. Feels like a million pounds have been lifted off my shoulders! :-D

Did you hear about the Rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?...
I am the Rose.